Today is a new day, with new mercies, new challenges perhaps but one thing is for certain, today, like every day for the last 9 months I have opened my eyes and said "Thank You for Your grace".
A day I will never forget, Friday 12 September 2014; the day our lives changed forever. Since that day we have faced one challenge after another; at times it felt like I was in the midst of a raging storm so out of control it felt like I wouldn't make it, moments that I would cry out to God to please, please take this cup from me and make it go away. It's still so raw, this entire experience, that I struggle to put into words this journey that we are on.
One thing I am thankful for, and one thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that never again will it ever be Friday the 12th September 2014.
To be told that your beloved husband was nearly killed, to be told to expect the worst. Severe damage to the brain stem. Dislocated hip. Broken femur. Stroke... "we don't see your husband surviving Mrs George, he shouldn't even have made it to the hospital alive; we will switch off the machines in a few days and your husband will die. Do you have anybody that can be with you through the grieving process?" I will never forget these words, I will never forget their report; the team of experts towering over me as if they have any right to serve upon me my husband's death sentence! As I looked at them and responded by asking to be excused, I often wonder what they thought of this little woman before them; as they watched me day in and day out, at his side, talking, praying, showering his lifeless body with all the love I possibly could. I decided there and then that I would not accept their report unless God said I should. I remember sitting in the foyer, calling upon the Lord asking Him what His report is and God saying to me 'be still and wait on me". I have been waiting for 9 months, not just waiting but persevering, pressing on through the storm.
The hardest part of this journey was that no one was willing to hold my hand through it in the manner that I had been holding Brad's hand through it but in retrospect I see that in the failure of people standing by me and with me, God stepped in, holding my hand, encouraging me and loving me through it. The experience of depending on God completely to meet every need, beyond material needs; has changed me, has changed my perceptions, my perspective on life. I have experience the presence of God in my life in the last 9 months that most have not experienced in their entire lives. God, my Father, my Encourager, the Lifter of my soul. I have experienced His love in such a real and tangible way.
I really believed that God was going to heal Brad instantly and each day that I went to see him in ICU, I went expecting to see the miracle of Bradley sitting up in bed with a smile on his face waiting to embrace me, his beautiful wife, as he always referred to me. As the weeks and months went by I received the revelation from God that He had Brad and I on a journey; that I had to be patient and allow God to do what He needed to do. God was teaching us both how to live a life of true surrender; how to love unconditionally and how to put God first in all that we do. Have you ever experienced showering another person with acts of endless love, without receiving anything in return? God taught me that there is no end to love, there is no such thing. There were times when I went to see Brad and felt to empty; all I wanted was to see my husband's eyes open and to hear him tell me that he loves me and that everything is going to be alright. And when he did eventually open his eyes he wasn't the person I was expecting. Because of the damage to his brain stem, he was going to need therapy to get his brain function working "normally" again. They told me this would happen but I didn't want to believe it and again God confirmed that it is all part of His process, the journey He put us on.
Last week, I was taken back, back to the place where I had to walk that "hospital street" to do the hospital run for 2 weeks. I hated it. I brought back emotions and feelings that made me feel vulnerable and sad as I remembered the countless days I spent in that hospital waiting for Bradley to wake up. God reminded me to count my blessings and to celebrate the miracles that have taken place already. God was teaching me to exist beyond my emotions. He taught me how to love unconditionally and to give love unconditionally, to sacrifice my own needs and desires and feelings in order to give the other person what they needed and beyond.
God has changed me. God has changed Bradley, stripped away the old self, building us back up, in unity and in Him, on purpose and for a purpose.
God has changed me. God has changed Bradley, stripped away the old self, building us back up, in unity and in Him, on purpose and for a purpose.
My soul is at peace as I wait on the promise of complete healing and the answer to Isabella's (our 5 year old daughter) prayer to make daddy even better than he was before.
God is in control. His timing is perfect. His grace is sufficient.
God is in control. His timing is perfect. His grace is sufficient.
May the God of endurance and encouragement grant us to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together we may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen
